No book can guarantee you a long and happy relationship, even if the author didn't know about your secret hygiene problem. But the cover of a book is no place to discuss that. In Dave Barry's Guide to Marriage and/or Sex, one of America's most beloved writers turns his keen, if somewhat rheumy, eye to the institution of marriage.

Dating. "These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas."

Sex. "I'm afraid that we must talk here about sex in a very explicit manner, because we want to expand the Frontiers of Human Understanding, and also we want to sell as many books as possible to adolescent boys."

Marriage. "Most squabbles start with money. For example, you want to buy food, while your spouse wants to buy a thoroughbred racehorse. It's important, in these situations, for both of you to be willing to sit down and try to achieve a workable compromise. In this case, you could buy a thoroughbred racehorse and eat it."

Amazon.com Review
Dave Barry's humor speaks for itself. Barry on dating: "These are nonstereotypical times we live in, by which I mean that it is the responsibility of the man to ask for the date, and the responsibility of the woman to think up excuses that get progressively more obvious until the man figures out that the woman would rather chew on a rat pancreas." Barry on falling in love: "When two people have been on enough dates, they generally fall in love. You can tell you're in love by the way you feel: your head becomes light, your heart leaps within you, you feel like you're walking on air, and the whole world seems like a wonderful and happy place. Unfortunately these are also the four warning signs of colon disease, so it's always a good idea to check with your doctor." If you think you might be in danger of having a date, falling in love, or getting married, buy this book immediately.